The CES Virgin Prepares for 'Vegas

I've been a journalist for a long time. I've covered events, interviewed people on the fly, and worked stories to the point that my brain, back, feet, and legs were ready to succumb to a standing eight count. However, I've been warned of the mighty battle that is CES; and I must admit, I'm feeling a little frightened.

I'm not even sure if "frightened" is the right word, because a large part of my ego doesn't want me to feel intimidated by such a thing. Encountering a rabid dog on the street, facing an armed mugger in a convenience store, or attending a Britney Spears concert are events that I would consider far more frightening than CES. However, the unknown comes in a close fourth; so since this will be my first CES, I guess it falls into the "unknown" category.

Since joining the Marketnews staff, I've been offered a lot of advice, plans of attack, and anecdotes on how to handle CES. They all make perfect sense. I will bring several pairs of the most comfortable shoes I own; and although my feet will still likely be throbbing after banging along the trade show floor for a full day, I won't attempt to drink away the pain until the wee hours.

But no matter what anyone says, I'm going to be a giant stress ball until at least day three. It won't be until then that I'm able to overcome my innate claustrophobia, and handle the massive crowds in tight spaces, or that I can find the best possible way to make sleep depravation work to my advantage.

Then, somehow, I will have to make attempts at writing strong, factual, interesting, and coherent copy for our excellently loyal readers, while feeling tired and sore, and without much time to get everything done. Some days, I'll feel rushed to get all of my notes on paper and online so that you all don't miss out on all of the big-time CES happenings. Therefore, I want to apologize in advance for any typos, and minor spelling or grammatical errors that may turn up in any of my CES coverage. I will do my best to seek those out and assassinate them one at a time before they reach the worldwide Web. But, I'm only human, and I'll likely miss a couple of targets.

One thing that I'm hoping not to miss a couple of is meals. I've been told that sometimes it's nearly impossible to not only find time, but also find a line short enough to get food from. I'm a skinny man with the hunger of one of those professional competitive eaters. I need food in my belly quite regularly, and I can be unpleasant if I'm unable to get some sweet, sweet, sustenance into my system. So, if you encounter me, and I come off a little cranky and faded, perhaps you will be able to win me over with a hot slice of za, or a cheeseburger.

Right now, the mission at hand is to make sure I have everything I need. This pack mule plans on having a suitcase or two jammed to the brim with several wardrobe options, work supplies, and some light snacks, and forgetting anything won't get past airport security. If I'm going to haul stuff around brutal airport lines, I might as well bring it all but the kitchen sink.

All told, I'm sure it will be fine. I am a pessimist at heart, and most of what I worry about on a day-to-day basis usually turns out to be more built up in my brain than it needs to be. Sure, I may leave ‘Vegas a pale, broken-down, red-eyed, malnourished, shadow of my former self, but I will board that plane home with a new experience under my belt, and a nearly five-hour window in which I can snore in the ear of the person next to me in economy class.

Between now and then, however, I'm still interested in receiving more advice from our faithful readers, so feel free to comment below and offer this poor ‘Vegas virgin some extra guidance. He's likely going to need it.