BLOG: Statistics for Hire

Whenever I read a market research survey, my bullshit detectors light up, especially if it's one of those what's-coming-next-year thingies. Inevitably, these "studies" are designed to produce the results their sponsors want. Basically, they're ad copy masquerading as social science.

Take, for example, the "Rogers Innovation Report." The bubbly PR blurb that accompanied the report described it as "a first-of-its-kind survey from Rogers that captures consumer predictions on hot technology topics that impact our daily lives."

It's based on an Internet survey of owners of tablets and smartphones who are also Angus Reid Forum panelists. These are people who have signed up to complete online surveys, and are paid for their participation.

My beef with all surveys - telephone, Internet, whatever - is that they leave no room for nuance. Participants can't say what they think about the subject at hand. They can only indicate whether they agree with canned statements. Those statements are almost always designed to promote the sponsor's agenda, and elicit favourable responses.

So it's not surprising that this group, which by its nature is far more technophilic than most people, thinks technological nirvana is right around the corner. The sponsor's agenda gusts out from between the lines of the survey's breezy statements.

For example, 85% agree that, "The day will come when you can access your family memories that are saved in a central location, from anywhere, anyplace, anytime." O glorious day! Especially glorious for your wireless provider if you access your family memories in another country, or you go over your data limit. Ca-ching!

And 81% agree that, "People will travel lighter as files; documents, music, videos and other content are available to them virtually." My laptop and smartphone are pretty light; but the documents, music, videos they contain weigh nothing at all! But if I'm using a mobile data plan to pull them from the cloud, my phone bill could be rather heavy!

The future is definitely getting faster. "Due to faster speeds, more people will play mobile games, stream videos, music and TV content on their mobile devices," agree 83% of respondents. Guess that means a heftier data plan or some surprise bills.

Wireless nirvana means your provider having its hand on your wallet, almost literally. "More people will use their smartphones to make purchases," say 79% of respondents. "Your smartphone will replace your wallet," say 43%. Phone companies could teach banks a lesson or two about hidden charges. I don't relish the prospect of my phone company being my banker.

Happy New Year.

P.S.: Have you been ROGERed by your telecom provider? Had your Bell rung? TELUS all about it in the comments section below.