Apple's iPhone 4: It's About Time

Guest Blog by Robert Franner

Last Wednesday, I joined the list of lemmings who, while supposedly firm of mind, waited hours in line by the Apple Store for the privilege of forking out the better part of a G-note for an iPhone 4. The bill came out to $870.27: $779 for an unlocked, 32GB model, and our HST took care of the rest. But if time is money, that's only the tip of the iceberg.

My saga begins with our daily lunchtime trek to Sherway Gardens, a mall equipped with its own Apple Store that's just across the street from Marketnews' world headquarters in the southwest end of Toronto, ON. Every day, as we walked by the Apple Store, it was lemmings-a-hula, with disgruntled heads on slumping bodies extending behind stanchions adjacent to the Apple Store as far as the eye can see, fading beyond the dogleg into oblivion.

On one occasion, I recall a line extending beyond the iPhone-availability cut-off point established by the blue-shirted Apple clerk. What could they be thinking? That somebody ahead of them might be rushed to the hospital, or die of natural causes? Not a bad call, given the length of the wait, come to think of it.

Fast-forward to last Wednesday, and walking by the Apple Store revealed an invitingly short queue. No more than 40-50 souls. And when the blue-shirted Apple dude indicated that there were more iPhones than lemmings, yours truly joined the line at 2 p.m.

I figured on losing maybe one hour, two at the most. This notion was reinforced when a blue-shirt, clipboard in hand, canvassed the line for quantity (a maximum of two per customer) and type (contract or no, and which carrier).

You could hear a steady chorus of "two, no contract," interspersed with only an occasional "Rogers."
Good! Closer to one hour than two! After all, with no contract, the transaction should consist of little more than swiping and authorizing a Visa card, and then trotting out with a white Apple iBag stuffed with an open microSIM card and the iPhone.

Any further dithering would take place between the user and the carrier.

Two hours later, the line has moved only a sixth of the way; only it somehow seems we are moving backwards. Much like walking towards the full moon, the entrance to the Apple Store seems to keep pace. What on Earth is taking so long?

Three hours later, the Marketnews office phones, justifiably registering its displeasure at my absence. But like the losers in Las Vegas who, having poured a small fortune into a one-armed bandit, figuring that it just has to pay off shortly, I refuse to budge.

At 10 to eight, I finally complete the transaction; emerging not the least wiser as to how or why the process should have taken so long.

But having wasted the better part of six hours, I have some pointed suggestions for Apple, and any agency that expects to encounter lineups for that matter.

How about letting us take a number, the way we used to in the old butcher shop? Step two would involve establishing a temporary Web site so connected individuals (which is almost everybody today) could see the number being served.

The onus would be squarely on the individual to make it back to what should be a comparatively compact line. Miss your queue, and to the back of the line you go.

There is no reason why I shouldn't have been able to return to the Apple Store to collect the phone after having returned to the office with no work interruption. Or shopped, eaten, read War and Peace, or finally figured out why the Roman Empire fell. No-one benefitted from my six-hour vigil. Apple isn't any richer for it.

As we approach the fall, and the inevitable call for flu shots for the masses, legions of suffering citizens will endure a similar penance for something far less trivial than a fancy phone.

We have the technology to eliminate most of this unnecessary time wastage. Won't somebody please implement it?

Eager customers line up outside of the Appe Store in Toronto, ON's Sherway Gardens shopping centre